


be more miraculous

by worstgirl



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Gen, M/M, More tags to be added, background tree bros, britton smith jake, but not really, deere, jake is chat noir, jeremy is ladybug, michael is alya, rich is nino, the miraculous ladybug x bmc crossover no one asked for, tiffany mann jenna, very loosely based on Mell-Aculous Ladybug by Maraculate, will connolly jeremy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-11-11
Packaged: 2019-08-02 02:23:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16296467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/worstgirl/pseuds/worstgirl
Summary: For those that knew Jeremy Heere, he was a normal boy with a normal life. He wasn’t anything special, really.That is, until a mysterious jewelry box appeared in his room, complete with a weird bug looking thing telling him he was a superhero.~~~or, the miraculous ladybug and be more chill crossover no one asked for{ cowritten with ApocalypseOfTheFucked }





	1. stoneheart pt. 1

**Author's Note:**

> BIG THANKS TO ApocalypseOfTheFucked  
> she’s a big help and wrote some of this with me and tolerated my ranting about this story  
> anyways, enjoy!!

For those that knew Jeremy Heere, he was a normal boy with a normal life. He wasn’t anything special, really. Hell, even he thought he was normal. And, like any person considered normal, he was not excited for his first day of junior year. Especially not when he was already running late. He nearly jogged down the road, cursing himself for not setting an alarm.

 

About a block or two from school, he was waiting by a traffic light, pretty much just lamenting his entire existence because shit, who’s late for their first day? He noticed a man trying to cross the street, seemingly distracted by something, and a car racing towards him. As the light turned green, he made a split second decision and reached out, pulling the man onto the sidewalk mere inches away from the car as it ripped past.

 

He looked at Jeremy with such a disgusted look that Jeremy almost regretted saving his life.

 

The man grunted as Jeremy yanked him back, stumbling against him so that Jeremy tripped and fell to the ground like the clumsy moron he was. He hit the pavement with a small _thud_ noise, wincing. This man was not exactly the lightest. Why had he helped him again? Some stupid sense of justice? For a kid that said he didn’t want to be a hero, he seemed to try to be one often. He shifted as the man got off of him, realizing his ankle hurt. Stupid, _stupid…_

 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” The man said in a way that didn’t sound very sorry at all - if anything, he sounded excited. “I don’t look where I’m going sometimes, I didn’t mean to make you fall - thank you for helping me, though.”

 

“S’fine…” Jeremy wheezed as he got to his feet, wincing as he put pressure on his ankle. Dammit. Great first impression, even when everyone at school already hated him.

 

“Oh, you’re hurt!” The man said in an almost overjoyed tone. What was with this guy? Did he have some sort of sadism thing going on? “I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean for you to hurt yourself.”

 

Jeremy shifted awkwardly, trying to find a part of his ankle that didn’t ache when he put weight on it. “N-No problemo.” Ew, who even said that anymore? He wanted to smack himself for that. “Anything to help someone out, right?” He gave an awkward laugh. Was this the part of the conversation where he was supposed to introduce himself? He wasn’t sure.

 

The man looked at him with something close to pride in his eye. “That is an incredibly good point.”

 

It was mostly just anxiety and the crushing fear of making people he didn’t even know upset but… Sure. If this guy thought he was some model nice kid instead of the anxious wreck he _actually_ was, sure. That was fine.

 

“Uh. Thanks…” Jeremy mumbled awkwardly, scratching his neck.

 

“Well, you’d best be going.” The man smiled. “School starts soon.”

 

“Oh, shoot, yeah!” Jeremy gasped, all but sprinting across the street. He paused, realizing something. “Wait, how did you-”

 

But when he turned around, the man was gone.

 

So, that was a weird experience he didn’t want a repeat of. He tried making sense of it: it was around the time school started and he had a backpack on, and probably the air of ‘I don’t know what the hell I’m doing with my life.’ Of course he was going to school.

 

He heard the school bell ring when he was racing up the steps, the pain in his ankle all but forgotten. He groaned. Great, he was going to walk in late and everyone would be staring at him and- Deep breaths, Jeremy.

 

He slid into his classroom as quietly as he could, thankful that at least, no one was sitting down yet. 

 

As he made his way to his and Michael’s usual desk - second row, near the wall, so they were near the front but not so near that they’d be called upon all the time - he found it was already occupied by - _ugh -_ Chloe and Brooke. Nothing against them, honest - well, nothing against Brooke. _She_ was fine. It was Chloe who was the nightmare.

 

Chloe was sitting on top of the desk- seriously, the only people that did that were bitchy girls and gays. Of which Jeremy suspected she was both, but she’d never admit to either. “So Madeline was all like-“ She said to Brooke, who was seemingly hanging on her every word. Then Chloe saw Jeremy, awkwardly standing at the end of the desk.

 

“Ew, you’re in this class again?” She asked, wrinkling her nose. Jeremy was thinking exactly the same thing.

 

God, where was Michael? He was a lot better at the confronting people thing. “Um, uh. Desk?” The most intelligent sentence that Jeremy had ever uttered.

 

“Oh, no, we’re taking these desks. You’re at those ones.” Chloe gestured with a wave of her hand, at the only group of desks that were empty. Right in the front.

 

Jeremy _really_ wished Michael was here.

 

He awkwardly slunk to the front desk, immediately being filled with anxiety the moment he took a seat. He couldn’t sit in the front. Losers sat in the front and sure he was a loser but like he didn’t want everyone to _know_ that oh god the teacher was going to call on him what if his voice broke what if he got the answer wrong what if-

 

A hand waved in front of his face, snapping him out of his panic.

 

“Earth to Jer-Bear, come in, Jer-Bear!”

 

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Jeremy smiled gently, peeking up to see Michael smirking down at him, slurping his slushie.

 

“What’s up, my guy!” Michael grinned, holding his hand out for the Super Secret Handshake Of Awesomeness. “Why’re we sitting in the designated Loser Zone? Like, I know we’re nerds, but I didn’t know we were _that_ bad.”

 

Jeremy gave a small laugh, standing up and doing the handshake they had created back when they were six- high five, low five, feet together. Once it was done, he slumped back into his usual slouch. “Because Chloe.” He jerked his head towards Chloe, who had turned back to her phone and Brooke. “I think she wants to sit there because of whoever’s sitting in the front next to Rich.” Considering that Rich’s previous seat partner had left the school last year, it was open.

 

Michael frowned at Rich, who was clearly still bitter about the seating arrangement and was sulking with his head on his folded arms at his desk.

 

“I pity the fool who has to sit between Rich, Chloe and Brooke.” He sighed, flopping into the seat next to Jeremy. “Well - I guess Brooke’s not that bad. And Rich is kinda cool. But still, you know what I mean.” He narrowed his eyes at Chloe, who was still ranting about Madeline. “I don’t get why you let her walk all over you like that. That’s our desk! We’ve sat there every year. How come she gets to just swoop in and take it?”

 

Jeremy gave a small exhale, like a snort of laughter, if it sounded a lot more pitiful. “Because there’s- just- I can’t stand up to her. I’m bad at talking on a normal day.” He sighed, possibly a bit dramatically. “Besides, if she doesn’t get what she wants, you know she’s gonna make it hell for us this year. More than usual, I mean.”

 

“And I know that Madeline wouldn’t dare come near Jake.” Chloe said in a very loud voice. “Because everyone knows he’s mine.”

 

Jeremy rolled his eyes, glad Chloe couldn’t see him. “Bet you a slushie he’s a massive jerk.” He muttered to Michael.

 

“Wait.” Michael frowned. “Jake? Like, Jake Dillinger? New kid Jake Dillinger? The model boy? He’s in our class?”

 

Jeremy blinked. He wasn’t close enough to the social gossip chain to know anything about anyone, much less a, quote unquote, ‘model boy’.

 

Michael took his silence as confirmation and groaned, slumping against the table. His head hit the wood with a muffled _thud._

 

“Jesus _Christ_.” He muttered into the desk. “Chloe was bad enough, imagine having to deal with her asshole model friends! If he’s anything like Chloe, I am jumping out that window. You can’t stop me. I accept my fate.”

 

“What- no, Michael! You can’t abandon me now! You have to stick around at least long enough to help me pass level nine!” He said, only partially joking. “Plus, if you abandon me with jerk model boy _and_ Chloe, I’ll probably like, spontaneously combust and there’ll be no one to give my eulogy-“

 

Then the boy walked in the door. And he was beautiful and breathtaking and handsome.

 

Jeremy hated him instantly.

 

“Damn.” Michael whistled, impressed. “Maybe this year won’t be a _total_ bust after all…”

 

“I thought you were going to hate him?” Jeremy frowned skeptically.

 

“Oh, I am.” Michael nodded, still openly staring at Model Boy Jake. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the view a little, huh?”

 

The boy didn’t slink into the classroom awkwardly like Jeremy did; no, he walked with an easy confidence, like he’d been here for years. He had a smooth, lazy smile on his face and his clothes were - full offense - a total mess, but he actually pulled it off well. He looked like one of those people who could wear anything and pull it off. Michael was right about him being a model.

 

Jeremy gritted his teeth. If he didn’t hate this boy already, he definitely did now. It wasn’t really anything against the guy, but it was totally everything against him. Why did he have to be so comfortable with himself? It wasn’t fair.

 

Jake looked at him and gave him a smile, a nice looking smile. Jeremy looked away and turned up his nose.

 

Chloe squealed with delight when she saw Jake- possibly the most girly sound he’d ever heard her make, which was saying something. “Jakeykins!” She said happily while throwing her arms around Jake and kissing his cheek. It was almost enough to make Jeremy gag. Instead, he just mimed shoving a finger down his throat at Michael.

 

Jeremy saw Rich slump in his seat pathetically as he watched the ridiculously heterosexual display in front of him. He looked over at Jeremy and Michael and mouthed ‘help me!’. Michael stifled a laugh, shooting him a scarily accurate ‘then perish’ look. Jeremy rolled his eyes. He did not understand Rich and Michael’s weird ally-ship.

 

The model boy - Jake, his name was _Jake_ \- looked incredibly uncomfortable with Chloe’s close contact, but still laughed it off and gave her a friendly shoulder-pat. Jeremy and Michael winced in synch. That was a very clear just-friends thing to do. This was going to be _very_ entertaining.

 

Chloe guided Jake to his seat- well, perhaps dragged was a more accurate word, as her arm linked with his. “You’re going to just _love_ this class, you’re right in front of me!” She literally batted her eyelashes at him. Jeremy didn’t think that was a thing people actually did. He realized he was glaring at Chloe, and Chloe was glaring right back.

 

He looked away quickly, staring at the desk with eyes wide. “Save me-“ He hissed to Michael, but then Jake was turning around.

 

“Hey, I’m Jake Dill-“ He started, but Jeremy’s previous Chloe-glare was now fixed on him, and the words seemed to die in his throat.

 

Jake seemed to figure out that Jeremy didn’t like him. Why, he wasn’t sure, but all Jeremy’s brain was saying was that he probably thought that he could get away with pretending to be all buddy-buddy but that he was Chloe’s friend, he would probably just use him to make fun of him. He dropped his head on the desk, fuming, before sitting up. “Those are our desks.” He blurted out, louder than he had intended.

 

Jake blinked. “Um. I-I don’t-”

 

“Shh!!” Michael hissed. “Do not get in the way of Confident Jeremy! I live for Confident Jeremy!”

 

Jeremy shot Michael a thankful look, then turned to Chloe. “Th-Those aren’t your desks. Michael and I have always sat there. Ever since freshman year.” His voice shook a little, but he felt confident, at least for the most part.

 

Chloe looked almost surprised. So did Brooke. Jeremy was pretty sure he looked surprised too. “So- so we’d like our seats back, thanks.” He finished lamely, wishing he could sink into the floor. Some quicksand would be nice, like the white shit from the Princess Bride. Hell, he’d even take a rodent of unusual size right now, rather than Chloe and Brooke and Jake and Rich and everyone all staring at him.

 

Rich offered an impressed slow clap.

 

There was silence for a while, before Brooke finally spoke up. “They _have_ sat here every year Chloe-“

 

Chloe, however, was fuming, and she stalked up to Jeremy, as if wanting to be a total bitch as usual, before she caught sight of Jake. Jake was watching the scene with a kind of amused confusion. “Fine.” She grumbled, and Jeremy could only watch in shock was they went to sit down in the front row.

 

Huh. Maybe this Jake kid wasn’t too bad after all.

 

Jeremy slid into the seat behind him, and he turned around. “Hey, that was pretty-“

 

The word ‘cool’ died in his throat when Jeremy shot him another glare. Stupid hot guys.

 

Rich whistled under his breath. “Damn dude.” He scoffed. “You done fucked up good.”

 

“What?” Jake frowned. “How am I the one who fucked up?”

 

“Just saying.” Rich shrugged, not even bothering to look at the boy next to him. “There’s no fucking way we’re dealing with another Chloe in this classroom. Okay? I can guarantee you, there will be a revolution. We still have our Les Mis props in the drama department. We’re fucking prepared.”

 

Jake’s frown deepened. He looked almost scared. “I - I’m sorry, what?”

 

“I _mean,_ ” Rich huffed, glaring at him with fire in his eyes. “If you turn out to be another prick like your little buddy over there-” He said, nodding at Chloe. “There will be bloodshed.”

 

Jake swallowed heavily. He… _Really_ didn’t know if this guy was serious or not.

 

“If this is another rich kid dilemma, I’m going to scream. Internally.” Jeremy grumbled, glaring daggers at Chloe’s head.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Chloe’s cool.” At those two words, Jeremy, Rich and Michael all turned their heads to stare at Jake with a kind of dumbfounded shock. Jake held up his hands in defense. “She’s been, like, my only friend since we were little. She’s not that bad.”

 

Michael forced an awkward laugh. “Heh. Funny. Seriously though, what the fuck?”

 

Jake seemed almost confused enough for Jeremy to take pity on him. Jeremy huffed, not wanting to get into just how much he hated Chloe Valentine. That seemed like an awful idea.

 

“She’s not actually all that bad, once you get to know her!”

 

Finally, Jeremy spoke. “She likes you because you’re hot and you think she’s cool.” Then he went bright red, groaning and dropping his head into his hands. He did _not_ just call this kid hot.

 

Jake blinked before breaking into a wide grin. “Aw, thanks! But seriously, she’s nice! I don’t get why you’re all weird about it. She’s chill.”

 

“With _you_.” Michael scoffed, rolling his eyes.

 

Jake frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

“It _means_ you didn’t have to deal with being called an arsonist for two years.” Rich said bitterly. “Please fuck off now.”

 

“I second that statement.” Michael said simply. “Sorry. You seem cool, just… Incredibly misguided. Bye now!” He smiled, plugging himself back into his Gameboy.

 

Luckily, Jeremy was saved from having to talk to Jake by the teacher entering the room. After a fiasco with role call- hell, who doesn’t know what to do during role call? Apparently Jake Dillinger- the day was started.

  

As the bell rang for the next period, a commotion broke out behind Jeremy, making him startle and almost drop his bag.

 

“Kleinman!” Jeremy whirled around to find Connor Murphy advancing on a shorter male, a piece of paper crumpled in his fist. His face was flushed with anger. Jeremy wondered what idiot had made Connor mad- oh, never mind, that idiot.

 

“What’re you gonna do, Murphy, throw a printer at me?” Jared said, and Jeremy had to resist the urge to facepalm. Seriously, you’d think that Jared had a death wish. Actually, maybe he did.

 

As Connor’s fist grabbed at Jared’s shirt, the teacher stood up quickly. “Mr. Murphy! What is going on here?”

 

Connor waved the piece of paper in the air. “It’s Kleinman, he’s-“ Connor couldn’t even seem to find the right words to describe it. “I’m going to kick your ass-“

 

“Mr. Murphy! Go to the principal’s office!” Connor shot one last glare at Jared, before slinging his bag over his shoulder and slinking out the door, towards the principal’s office. Jeremy shrugged, not thinking much of it. Connor had been in his class freshman year, and while they’d never been close, he knew what he was like- constantly getting in trouble over stupid shit like this. He vaguely wondered what the note said, but it was out of his mind in an instant.

 

Then, while he was in study hall with Michael in the library, there was a large _boom_ that shook the school, like something very heavy had hit the ground. Jeremy dropped his 3DS- yes, he still owned one, no, it wasn’t childish- and almost fell out of his chair. “What the hell?” He stood, rushing to the windows to see a huge, hulking figure, seemingly made out of stone, shouting a word that sounded like ‘climb him.’

 

No, _Kleinman._

 

Connor?


	2. stoneheart pt. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they get their miraculouses! (Miraculi? hell if i know)
> 
> also excuse any editing mistakes we bant too much

Jeremy turned around to look for Michael, only to find out that he’d disappeared. If he was fucking running after the villain, Jeremy was going to let him get crushed. Superheroes were Michael’s kryptonite. 

 

Jeremy found himself ushered home by his teacher, told to watch on the news as they talked about a supervillain terrorizing New Jersey. Fabulous. Wonderful first days at school. He let out a sigh, staring at his laptop with the live stream of the news playing. While a policeman rambled on about how the ‘law would protect them,’ Jeremy groaned, turning around in his swivel chair only to find a small jewelry box on his bed. He groaned- his dad must have put it there. “What’s this doing here?” He opened the box, and a bright red ball of light seemed to sprout from it. 

 

Jeremy let out an embarrassing shriek, fumbling with it and dropping it. When the ball of light finally exploded, he found himself face to face with a big-headed, red… creature.

 

“Ah- it’s a- a mouse- a cockroach- a cockamouse! Sh-Shit, that sounds wrong-“ He said, stumbling back and crashing into his dresser. 

 

Then the thing floated towards him. “It’s okay, don’t be scared-“ It said, in a high-pitched voice. Jeremy shrieked again, throwing a DS cartridge at it. 

 

“The fucking thing talks!” He said, throwing a book at it. It just swerved out of the way, with what sounded like a sigh. 

 

“Listen, Jeremy-“ It said calmingly, before it was suddenly muffled by Jeremy trying to shove it into a shoe. 

 

“How do you know my name?” He said in alarm. Really, he was just trying to figure out what the actual fuck was going on. And also not panic. Not panicking seemed nice right now. 

 

“Jeremy, listen to me!” The thing said, voice muffled by his shoe. He vaguely wondered if this was a side effect of his meds. Was he going crazy finally? He realized he was speaking aloud, and then the thing went through his shoe, getting in his face. He scrambled back, embarrassed. “Jeremy, shut the fuck up!” 

 

He blinked in surprise, but he stopped talking. 

 

“Good. Why do they always freak out?” The thing said, and Jeremy was completely confused. “Okay. I’m Tikki, and I’m a kwami.”

 

“Am I going crazy?” He finally blurted out. The red thing- Tikki- sighed. 

 

“No, Jeremy. You’re not going crazy. Now just listen for a second, okay?”

\---

 

“So… You’re magic?” Jake asked, sounding confused.

 

“Yup.” The weird rat-cat-whatever thing said simply as it lounged on a pillow. “Congratulations, bud! Name’s Plagg, god of destruction, at your service.”

 

Jake stared at the little demon on his bed. “Is this weed? I thought Natalie was just being dramatic…”

 

“Nope, not a hallucination.” Plagg shrugged. “Sorry, pal, you’re stuck with me. So! Let’s talk superheroes.”

 

“Super what now?” Jake frowned. “Look, if this is about that stone guy, I had nothing to do with that!”

 

“Re- _ lax _ , kid!” He laughed. “I’m not blaming you, I’m  _ requesting _ you.”

 

“Requesting?”

 

“Yup! You’re a superhero now. Surprise!”

 

Jake was nowhere near drunk enough to deal with this.

 

“Which means Stoney out there?” Plagg smirked. “That’s your problem now. Have fun with that!”

 

“Wait,  _ what?!”  _ Jake yelped. “Okay, slow down… Cat thing!”

 

“Kwami.”

 

“Whatever! I can’t fight that thing! I actually value my life, thanks!”

 

“Seriously?” Plagg frowned, peering around his room. “Seems kinda boring to me, bud.”

 

“W-Well, yeah, it is…” Jake mumbled awkwardly. “But still, I don’t wanna die! And besides, what good’s a superhero if he can’t even leave his own room?!”

 

“Beats me.” Plagg shrugged, batting his tail idly. “You’re right, dude, you’re kinda useless. No idea why the master sent me to you. Did you do any good deeds today? Maybe I should just go back and tell him he fucked up.”

 

“Master? What?! Slow down!” Jake cried, waving his hands in vague ‘stop’ motions. “This isn’t - I can’t handle this right now, okay?!”

 

“Why not?” Plagg frowned. “You said so yourself, your life’s pretty boring right now. So? I’m your solution! You just slap on that ring, say ‘yo Plagg, claws out!’ and then boom! Superhero. I’m your answer, bud! I’m your savior!”

 

“Really?” Jake frowned, raising an eyebrow as he examined the ring resting on his palm. “So I just put this on and…” He mumbled, slipping it onto his finger. Plagg’s eyes widened.

 

“Wait! I haven’t finished explaining yet, you still-!”

 

“Claws out!”

 

Plagg groaned as he felt his essence get sucked into the Miraculous. Dammit, where was Tikki when you needed her?

 

—-

 

“So… it’s just ‘spots on?’” The kwami got sucked into the earrings- which made Jeremy thankful that he’d actually pierced his ears two years ago. Note to self, don’t pierce your ears at home. It isn’t as hardcore as it sounds.

 

He was not into the fact that his ‘suit’ was skin tight, bright red, and covered with black dots. “What- Tikki- why is it so…” He trailed off, realizing that Tikki wasn’t there.

 

Well, off to fight crime with a yo-yo. He hoped his partner had a better weapon. He wasn’t into getting killed because of his awful hand-eye coordination, even if Tikki had told him that it would be better when his miraculous was activated. 

 

Jeremy screamed as he swung through the air, only attached to a yo-yo. It was not an attractive thing. He crashed into the roof, somehow not getting thoroughly injured. “Ow, fuck.” He looked up to find a black gloved hand in his vision. He looked up to find himself face to face with a boy, dressed in black with cat ears. 

 

He made a mental note to yell at Tikki about how he got a cat dressed in leather as a partner. “Um, sup.” He said, taking the guy’s hand. God, he looked ridiculous, he was dressed in bright red spandex.

 

“Sup!” Cat boy smiled. “So I’m guessing you’re my partner in crime? Or, uh, anti-crime?” 

 

Jeremy pulled himself up, nodding. “Yep. Fighting crime in skintight suits. My favourite pastime.” He thought, looking at his yo-yo. “D’you know where Con- the Stoneheart guy went?”

 

“Well, the sounds of screams, misery and general destruction are  _ that _ way.” Cat boy said, pointing down a completely trashed road of smashed cars and punched walls. “So I’d say that way. What’s your name, by the way? Figured I should probably know my new buddy!”

 

Jeremy nodded, smiling a little at the description. Well, cat boy wasn’t  _ wrong.  _ That would make sense. At the question, he stiffened. “Je- Just, uh, none of your business.” Tikki had told him to keep his identity secret, and he’d almost said his name. God, he was a dumbass. “Didn’t your kwami tell you, we’re not supposed to know each other irl. A-And if I just said that aloud like I think I said, you have permission to whack me with that stick.” Stupid anxiety. A mask didn’t hide that. It did give him a bit of security, though. He’d only stuttered once- well, unless you counted the name slip-up.

 

Cat boy scrunched up his nose at his partners sass. “I know, dummy, I’m not an  _ idiot _ . Just wanted to know what you wanted me to call you was all, jeez.” An explosion sounded off in the distance, making them both jump and the ears on cat boys head perk up. “Well, nice talkin’ to ya, Spots, but I guess I gotta go save the day now. You’re welcome to tag along.” He smirked mischievously as he used his staff to propel him upwards. “See ya!” 

 

Jeremy was already frustrated with this boy. It wasn’t like  _ he  _ knew what the hell he was doing either, what the actual fuck was he talking about? Jeremy’s face flushed at the comment. “Oh, fuck you too, Kitty.” He grumbled. He may have definitely tried to go faster than the cat boy.  Just to be a jerk. He stopped, before noticing something. He threw his yo-yo, catching the boy’s ankle. “Hey, fuzzball, cool it. We need a plan.”

 

“Dude!” Cat boy yelped, pulling on his tied up leg. “We’re superheroes, we don’t need a plan! Just go in there, punch the shit, home in time for dinner!”

 

“If we don’t have a plan, we get killed.” Jeremy hissed. “Do you not read the old comics? You go in without a plan, you fuck everything up. So we need a plan of attack! This isn’t a fucking game!” Jeremy wasn’t sure why he was so angry about this. “I’m sorry I don’t want my friends and family hurt because my idiot partner ‘went in there and punched the shit and ruined everything.’”

 

Cat boy scowled at him. “Yknow, you’re really starting to remind me of someone.” He seethed, getting to his feet and stumbling. “Uh, hey, d’you mind untying me? I mean, I’d totally be down for it if the circumstances were different, but we’ve got a monster man to fight.”

 

Jeremy narrowed his eyes at the cat boy. He untied Jake with a flick of the wrist, but it hit him in the back of the head as it flashed back into his hand. “Good. Hope that means you’ll actually listen to me because I’m being  _ logical _ .” He huffed, face turning red. “Oh, shut it. I don’t have time for your shitty jokes.” He glared at the cat boy. “Pussy.” 

 

Cat boy gaped at him. “...  _ Wow _ . Y’know I’m pretty sure that’s racist. Or - catist. Or something. Still, rude!” He huffed, folding his arms childishly. “So what’s your  _ awesome _ plan, Spots?”

 

Jeremy’s eyes scanned the streets, thinking. Then he realized a pattern. “Evan.” He blurted out. Then he backtracked, coughing awkwardly. “The, uh, the person that got akuma- akumatized or whatever it’s called. He’s going to this kid named Evan’s place. Maybe we can get there before him?” It was an awful plan, but hey, it was better than nothing. “Or do you have a better plan? A laser beam you want him to chase?”

 

“Y’know, you don’t have to be so rude.” Cat boy huffed. “And besides, why’d he go to some guy’s house? Does he know him or something? I didn’t think he had any friends.” 

 

Jeremy glanced at the boy, narrowing his eyes. “You- okay, deal with that later.” He stood up. “Obviously you don’t know him all that well. He’s got, like, the hugest crush on the kid but they’ve been dancing around each other for goddamn years. More gossip later, more crime-fighting now.” He sighed.

 

“Well  _ duh _ I’m not gonna know him that well, I only just-” He froze for a moment. “Never mind. Where does this guy live? This guy’s all hopped up on demon possession, we don’t know what he’ll do to the kid if he gets there first. We’ll have to hide him somewhere.”

 

Jeremy frowned. Sure, Connor was violent, but- he usually left Evan alone. Well, there was the time he shoved him, but whatever. “Here, follow me.” He didn’t mention that he knew where Evan lived because his dad went on a date with the kid’s mom. That was the weirdest hang out he’d ever had. “Try to keep up, kitty.” He said. He would have winked, but he physically couldn’t. Sue him. He swung into the air, not looking back to see if the cat boy was following. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow us on tumblr (@apocalypse-of-the-fucked and @player-two-heere) to get some insight into our s ick ba nts
> 
> also! just a note: although i’m listed as the only author, my friend ApocalypseOfTheFucked writes this with me and she’s amazing and beautiful and talented go read her stuff.
> 
> stay safe, and stay wonderful, loves!!  
> ~PlayerTwoHeere
> 
> i haven't slept since august and there's a lump on my eyelid so appreciate this shit you fuckers we worked hard on it
> 
> ~ApocalypseOfTheFucked


	3. stoneheart pt. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jake and jeremy are oblivious and pretty much hate each other, michael is a fanboy, and connor and evan don’t understand emotions

Okay. This was weird. But it was also awesome.

Come on, he was a fucking superhero! It didn’t get much better than that. He could say whatever, do whatever (well, within reason) - he actually managed to leave his house! No photoshoots, no interviews, no nothing! Just him, his magic kitten and a pretty hot suit if he did say so himself. And the best part? No one knew it was him!

There was one downside, of course. The bug boy. Jake would’ve been perfectly content jumping around and fighting crime himself, like some kickass Batman (Catman?), but no. Apparently there were rules or something. He needed a partner. Someone to balance him out, bounce off of, work with. It sounded like a bunch of horseshit to Jake. Honestly, who needed a partner that was such a stickler?

That being said… The playful tone that bug boy had just used? It was a little exciting. In an incredibly weird way.

Jake decided not to think about it.

Speaking of the bug boy, he had stopped swinging. The stone man thing didn’t seem to be there yet, which made the other boy sigh. “So… hopefully Evan is safe, maybe we-“ Then Stoneheart came down the street, and the bug kid froze to the spot, just staring at it.

Jake looked from the bug boy to the stone guy and back again. “Uh. Dude. The plan?!” Seriously, the guy got on his case for being reckless, come the fuck on… 

Bug boy frowned. “Too late.” He grumbled, gesturing to the monster’s hand. In it was clasped a kid around their age, in a blue polo. “He must’ve somehow gotten to him before us.” Jeremy huffed, looking around. “We need to get him somewhere where he won’t fuck up an entire city street. Would you mind being bait?” The kid’s face was almost as red as his suit as he glanced Jake over. “You’re already like walking clickbait.”

“I would be offended, but I do have references” Jake muttered. “Fine.” He sighed. “I’ll be bait. So what do I do, make noises? Be a general annoyance? Or are we talking, like, seduction or whatever? I’m equipped for both.”

The bug kid snorted, then tried to cover it up like he didn’t find that joke funny. “Oh, believe me, I know you can be an annoyance.” He muttered, rolling his eyes. “Just- lure him towards the stadium or something? We don’t wanna cause a catastrophe.” He hesitated. “No, that wasn’t a pun. I’m gonna try and figure out how to, like, trap him. Find out where the fuck his akuma is.”

“Damn, for a hero you sure swear a lot.” Jake smirked. He noticed that snort. It was kind of cute - in a totally annoying way, of course. “Okay, I’mma go do what I was born to do.” He smiled, jumping down and rolling into the street, sticking the landing perfectly. He turned and winked at the bug boy, who flushed and looked away with a scowl. Jake just laughed, running into the middle of the road.

“Yo, stoney!” He yelled, waving his arms over his head. “Look at me, I’m a cat! Cool, huh? You wanna catch the cat? Come on, stoney, come on!” He grinned, whistling and patting his legs like he would with a dog. He saw bug boy face palm from the corner of his eye, which, by the way, rude.

Well, whatever, Jake thought bitterly. He’d show that dumb bug what he could do. After all, Jake may not be the most experienced superhero, but at least he didn’t fly around town in polka-dotted spandex!

Jeremy wanted to retort that for a hero, the cat kid had a shaky moral code, but he was already jumping down. Jeremy was not amused by the cat boy’s antics. Okay, he was a little but amused, but he was mostly focused on getting Evan out of the stone creature’s hand. He glanced at the black-clad figure, then swung down to land on Stoneheart’s arm. The thing didn’t seem to notice, and he crouched by Evan. He hoped that meant he wouldn’t be moved quickly. “Hey, you okay?” He said, praying Evan wouldn’t recognize him.

Evan nodded, but it was a curt nod. It was an ‘I am in total panic mode but I’m trying to play it cool’ kind of nod. Jeremy opened his mouth to say something along the lines of I’m going to save you, but Stoneheart jerked his arm, and Jeremy fell, crashing to the pavement with a thud as Evan let out a cry of pain.

“Shit!” He heard the cat boy yelp as Stoneheart stomped towards him. Through blurry vision, he could just make out the cat boy dive under Stonehearts leg and pull Jeremy into his arms, leaping up to the rooftops where the giant couldn’t reach them.

“Are you okay?” Cat boy asked, eyes wide with concern. “C’mon, bug boy, I know you were kinda annoying at first but don’t go dying on me!”

Jeremy winced, trying to stop his head from spinning. “Ow, ow, not dying. Head hurts.” He mumbled, but managed a small smile. “Aw, y-you worried for me, kitty?” He said teasingly, just to get on the guy’s nerves. Totally not flirting. He almost smacked himself for the stutter, though. He quickly controlled it. “Let’s just get the akuma, okay?” He stood, swaying slightly, surprised he wasn’t more bruised from the fall. 

“Hey, careful!” Cat boy yelped, grabbing Jeremy by the waist as he stumbled slightly. “Watch itl, man, I can’t go losing my partner on the first day!”

Well, that totally didn’t make Jeremy short-circuit. His cheeks went bright red and he had a moment of ‘shit a guy dressed in leather is holding me by the waist and he also has cat ears and oh my god Michael is right I am a furry.’ Then he shut that away. “I’m not gonna die.” He mumbled, pulling away. “This is more important than a headache.”

“I think making sure you’re okay is pretty important.” Cat boy shrugged. “I mean, we kind of need to do some world saving here, bro. Can’t exactly do that if you’re dead.” 

“I fell. I’m not dying.” Jeremy rolled his eyes, but even that made his head hurt. “Besides, we got some sort of protection thing going on. Except apparently on our heads.” He grumbled. “I’m fine. I’ll deal. New plan- draw him away, trap him, find the akuma, get some Tylenol.”

“Roger dodger, chief.” Cat boy smirked, giving a mock salute. “Okay, I’ve got the distracting part down, but where are we supposed to trap him?” 

Jeremy rolled his eyes, then glanced around. “Football stadium. It’s our only option that’s big enough.” He looked at his yo-yo. “How much string does this thing actually have?” He said, thinking. “Maybe I can make, like, a net thing? I dunno.” 

“Well, you’re gonna have to come up with something.” Cat boy shrugged, taking a running leap off the side of the building. “See you at the stadium, bug boy!”

In that split second, Jeremy decided his name. The stupidest, most obvious name ever, but screw it, he wasn’t clever. “Ladybug!” He called after the cat boy. “I’m Ladybug!” 

As Stoneheart stomped closer, cat boy turned back at him with a grin. “Cool! I’m Chat Noir! Pleasure fighting with you!” Stoneheart took another earth trembling step towards him. “Okay, I’m gonna go not die now!”

Jeremy rolled his eyes, giving a soft smile. Chat Noir- black cat. Very creative. But really, the first thing on his mind was getting Evan out of there, and Connor without hurting either of them. Or letting Chat Noir get hurt, despite how much of an idiot he was. He made his way quickly to the stadium, wondering what Stoneheart wanted. He saw Chat Noir coming towards him. Now or never. “Chat Noir!” He gestured behind him, hoping the other boy would get the hint to get Stoneheart in there with them.

Chat Noir spun around to face Jeremy, frowning at his wild gesturing. He nodded slowly as he connected the dots, sprinting into the stadium while screaming at the top of his lungs.

“Stone guy! Look over here!” He yelled, jumping around the entrance of the stadium. “Come get the kitty! Come on, Stoney!”

Jeremy winced, but he didn’t have time to critique Chat Noir’s distraction skills, since they were working. Stoneheart barrelled into the stadium, and Jeremy got to work, desperately wishing his yo-yo didn’t run out of string as he covered the top of the stadium. Now the stone thing couldn’t leave. He dropped next to Chat Noir. “Okay, we need to make him drop Evan. Gently. Hopefully.” Jeremy sighed. “This is no way to pick up a date, and I’ve done some bad flirting myself.” He grumbled. “And now I’m yo-yo less, want to smack him with your stick?”

Chat Noir grinned devilishly. “Oh I think you’ll find that I am very good at smacking my stick, Spots.” He smirked, before rushing into the stadium, taking a running leap and jamming his staff into Stonehearts closed fist. He pushed down, prying his hand open as Evan squirmed to release himself. Stoneheart roared, attempting to shake Chat Noir off of him, and making the two of them fly into the air.

“Shit, shit, shit!” Chat Noir screamed as they descended into free fall. “Spots, fucking - Ladybug, do something!”

“Please never say that again.” Jeremy muttered, resisting the urge to audibly groan, especially as Chat Noir seemed to be a little busy. Jeremy looked around quickly, tugging his yo-yo down. He barely had time to think as he swung through the air, catching Evan. He had a little more confidence Chat Noir would land on his feet- he was a cat, wasn’t he? He landed on the ground, setting Evan down. “You good?” He said quickly. Evan nodded silently, and Jeremy turned away, remembering that he had a special power. Well, now or never. He made sure Chat Noir was okay, only realizing that he was obviously not okay.

Well, fuck. Jeremy bit his lip, going up to the other boy to hopefully help and not totally suck. “Hey, you need some help? Sorry I let you fall. Figured cats always land on their feet.” 

“Apparently the one cat power I didn’t get was the one cool thing cats can do.” Chat Noir huffed as he got to his feet. “Well, that’s a lie. Cats are awesome. But still, I’m salty. Anyways, rock giant?” 

Jeremy glanced the other boy up and down, totally just checking for injuries. “Yes, rock giant.” He hesitated, looking around. “His fist. He hasn’t opened it. The akuma must be in there.” Somehow, Jeremy knew he was right. “So, um, get him to open his fist? Without hurting him or Evan.” He huffed, backing up as Stoneheart advanced. “Should I use my lucky charm now or you have a better plan?” He really hoped that there was another way.

“I think I’ve got something.” Chat Noir smirked, looking down at his open palm. He raised his hand to the sky and yelled “Cataclysm!”

Black smoke and particles encircled his hand, manifesting in a small ball in the center of his palm, so black that it almost looked like the world had just been erased in that one dot. Chat Noir smirked, placing his hand against one of the goal posts and grinning as he watched it chip and crumble with the simple touch.

“I’ve so got this.” He grinned, running at Stoneheart. He took a leap, placing his hand before him and slamming it into the giant’s foot.

A moment passed. Chat frowned, tapping his hand against the foot once more. His face fell, and he peeked up to see Stoneheart growling over him.

“I’m beginning to think this a ‘one time use’ type of deal.” He mumbled, before Stoneheart kicked him to the other side of the stadium.

Jeremy yelped. He had been intending on warning the other boy of the whole ‘one use thing.’ He had also figured that he had actually listened to his kwami. He thought fast, leaping down. Luckily, Chat Noir didn’t seem too hurt by the crash, but he was more than a little surprised when he looked up to see his best friend crouched down by the entrance- was Michael filming? Was he actually insane?

Now Jeremy had the fantastic job of protecting three people, before his partner transformed back. “Great. Save the town in five minutes, piece of fucking cake.” He grumbled, helping Chat Noir up. “You okay?” He asked, trying not to sound too worried. 

“Um.” Chat Noir blanked as he swayed where he stood, clearly a little fazed from the crash. “You’re, uh. Pretty.” 

Jeremy’s brain essentially stopped working. Maybe the kid did have serious brain damage. “Ha, okay, just-“ He glanced towards Michael, then sighed. “You, stay here for now with M- this kid, until you can think straight- I mean, obviously you’re- okay. I’m not pretty.” He finished, then bit his lip, sure his face was as red as his suit. “Time to save everyone, I guess.” This is why he had said you can’t go in and punch people. 

He glanced at the other boy, frozen before he had a beep- the boy’s miraculous. “See if you can get away before you transform back, okay?” His voice sounded softer than usual.

Chat Noir frowned, somewhat thrown off by Jeremy’s soft tone. He blinked rapidly, opening his mouth to say something, when Stoneheart roared once more, and began to tremble as his rock armour grew and toughened around him. The giant screamed at the sky, grabbing a goal post and wrenching it out of the ground, throwing it towards the two heroes.

Chat Noir yelped, grabbing Jeremy by the wrist and pulling them both to safety. The post clattered off the wall of the stadium, slamming to the side. Jeremy heard a faint yelp and oh fuck.

Michael was trapped under the post.

“I’m beginning to think that I am very bad at this hero thing!” Chat Noir cried.

“Michael.” Jeremy breathed out, sincerely hoping Chat Noir didn’t hear him. Jeremy’s heart was pounding. Shit, he was a hero that couldn’t even save his best friend. He decided to have an existential crisis later. “I’m beginning to th-think so too.” He shoved down the stutter. He wasn’t allowed to freak out now.

He bit his lip, eyes darting around. He had to get Michael out from under the goal post, fast, get Evan to safety, make the Stoneheart open his hand, all in less than five minutes. No big deal.

Jeremy tried to calm his breathing. “Lucky charm!” He called out, throwing his yo-yo into the air. He found himself holding fake lifesize ladybug doll. He internally cursed Tikki, but he looked around. The world seemed grey for a second, and as he looked around, Chat Noir flashed red, then the goal post, then Stoneheart’s hand. Just stupid enough to work.

“Chat, I need you to trust me for two minutes, okay?” He said, taking a deep breath. “I need you to get picked up by the thing. I’m sorry- sorry I’m using you as a distraction. But I have a plan, and you won’t be thrown, I promise.” Or at least, he hoped not. He needed some good luck right then. 

The other boy seemed extremely skeptical, but Jeremy sincerely hoped that he wasn’t going to say no. “Fine. Don’t get me killed, spots.” Then Chat Noir raced off.

Jeremy vaguely wondered what the actual hell he was doing. Setting up a decoy of himself dressed in spandex on a field post, apparently, which had his best friend under it. “I’m gonna get you out of here, okay?”

Then he did the stupidest thing ever, calling out to the Stoneheart in a rather impressive impersonation of Jared Kleinman. “Yo, stoner! Throw any printers lately?” The creature turned to him, reaching out to grab what he thought was Jeremy, but  
grabbed the field post instead, pulling it up. He also dropped a purple-looking piece of paper. Jeremy acted fast, pulling Michael out of the way and grabbing the paper, ripping it in half. A black and purple butterfly flew out, and he waved to it as it went by, a bit awkwardly.

He grabbed the decoy (he had decided not to call it a doll, all things considered) calling to mind the phrase Tikki had told him. He threw it up in the air with surprising strength, calling out, “Miraculous Ladybug!” The air was filled with tiny red ladybugs, and everything returned to normal, even Connor. And the note. Jeremy picked it up and read it- ‘Bet you’d never be able to tell Evan you love him, f-‘ Jeremy was a lot more angered by that note than he should have been. Fucking Jared.

He made his way to Chat Noir, looking at the recently de-akumatized Connor and the Evan who had rushed to his side, cradling his arm like it was broken. Jeremy looked over at the other boy, holding out a hand for a fist-bump. “You’re not an awful partner.”

Chat Noir broke into a slow smile, eagerly pounding Jeremy’s fist in delight.

“Yeah?” He grinned. “You’re not so bad either, Spots - uh, Ladybug!” He chuckled gently. “Cool name, B-T-dubz. Well!” He stretched his arms over his head, the muscles under his suit flexing with the movement. “I gotta run.” He smiled awkwardly, holding up his blinking ring. “See ya around, Ladybug!” He took a running leap off of his staff and flew up into the stadium, jumping through the rooftops until he was out of sight.

Jeremy choked, pretty much left in a bisexual panic. He shoved that idea out of his head- no getting crushes on business partners, no matter how attractive they are. He almost went over to Evan and Connor, but they seemed lost in conversation, so he let them be. Instead, he went to his idiot best friend. “Mi- um, man, you shouldn’t put yourself in danger like that.” He said scoldingly, ignoring the beeps from his earrings.

“That was awesome!” Michael all but shrieked, completely ignoring Jeremy’s concern. “Like, you - you yelled, and the thing just - out of nowhere! And then you were like, I’m gonna get you out of here, all heroic and shit and then you just - you fucking yelled at a monster, what the fuck?!” He screamed, a grin splitting his face. “Dude, you’re awesome! This is so going on my blog!”

By blog Michael meant his tumblr account. It was nothing but complex conspiracy theories and a slowly growing list of canon LGBT characters in the media, and had barely grazed forty followers. Jeremy wasn’t too worried.

Jeremy gave a small embarrassed laugh, but he was pretty concerned about Michael doing reckless shit like this. “I’m, uh, I’m glad you think I’m- awesome, but really, you should get home. I’m sure your mother-“ He almost said ‘mothers.’ “Your parents are worried about you, and probably your friends.” He heard the beeps of his earrings, and winced. “I gotta blast-“ Well that was dorky as hell- “But you should get home. Tell the lovebirds to do the same.” Jeremy gestured over his shoulder at Evan and Connor. “Can you do that for me?”

“Uh - yeah!” Michael grinned, eyes wide in awe. “Yeah, totally!”

“Thanks, man.” Jeremy said, tempted for a second to hold out his hand for their handshake, before stopping himself. “Be careful!” He called out as he swung away, a bit less awkward than before.

He landed on the roof outside his bedroom window, slipping inside and telling Tikki, “Spots off.” He collapsed on his bed with a sigh. “Am I supposed to be this sore?” He mumbled, rubbing the back of his head. Before he knew it, he had fallen asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think ren’s end note describes us right now: ‘I’m tired and want to die.’ 
> 
> Sorry it took so long guys, i had tech week for my show (which is going well btw) so I’m running on very little sleep but here!! Have a chapter!! please tell me if i forgot any notes because we’re both tired as hell and editing is fucking hard man.
> 
> follow us on tumblr at player-two-heere and apocalypse-of-the-fucked !!
> 
> ~PlayerTwoHeere

**Author's Note:**

> so this is gonna be slow-going, considering we both have to juggle school and everything. however, if this gets god response, we’ll try to continue it! 
> 
> also what are updating schedules and do we have to conform to them? we wouldn’t no, and no!
> 
> anyways, hope you enjoyed!
> 
> stay safe, and stay wonderful, loves! (also go check out ApocalypseOfTheFucked’s writing, it’s amazing)
> 
> ~PlayerTwoHeere
> 
> {a small note from ren}
> 
> 'hello player two heere is a gift and i love them and they're amazing, love, ren’
> 
> {all authors of this fic do not agree with this statement}


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